Nirvana of my tooth

Last night was a bad night.I hurriedly woke up at dawn of the sunday morning, which was quite unusual for me. Something was not right and upon slumber recollection of the bygone hours i realised the cause, my tooth was hurting. It was not the usual painful hurt which would keep you awake all night ,keep you from enjoying anything in life ,keeping you from your own thoughts,,,this was different, more subtler, more sober..the pain that was meant to last till eternity,where you could if you chose to ,enjoy life as normal as green grass, as usual as a school boy;s daily schedule, ..but only if you chose to. Because it would always be there in the background reminding you of the failures of your flossal and its deeply rooted dentures. It would not make life hell for you, it would make you choose your life your own hell. That was the kind of pain that kept me awake until i finally slipped into the sleep which could only come when one is spent. I made coffee for myself and poured ronnie his milk which he had grown fond of, i dont know why,since dogs are not known to be into milk and stuff. I drank my sip little by little, since it was just the right coffee one could ever make. Like a old blind man strolling towards the cliff edge of which he has a premoniation but cannot be sure, I knew something was coming. I could n;t see it until it hit me in the face, the totality of my calmness was lost , i did not know of any composture to suit me, it was paining really hard this time. Coffee was on the floor, ronnie seemed confused. I was lying on the carpet with hands on the jaw and really disfigured into a heap of dengenrate drug addict searching for some warmth in the cold cold world. Saile had asked me to see a doctor long time back,even reminded me last month. I never took her seriously. It was time to heed her. Or was it?
Consdering all the wrongs that had happened in recent times, and not one could i discount myself as just the one who happened to be there. I was wrong all the time, i had been wrong knowingly. This was my justification to myself. This was my reward. I had to let it pain. let it pain till it seeped the courage out of me, my ego,my lust, my desire, my inability, and everything out of me. I sat there on the floor in agony and let it pain and let it pain.