Long mails

Normally i would change the title from 'long mails' to the 'the art of writing long mails' but since i am no expert on that(not yet) current one is justified.
Why is writing long mails important?
A random bunch of people(of course you have experienced different lengths of mails in their life) would argue that they hate long mails. Mails are supposed to be concise,and to be point ,and if possible objective.Also it should be devoid of any information which can be logically deduced or is already known the receipient.
But this is also the reason for writing long mails. Nobody would read long mails back to back if they really have seen lot of mails in their life which also means that if you are a student,apprentice, employee, or anyone who wants to give up working and take communium with Dalai Lama must write long mail. It will help in later justifying the fact that what you wanted to say or what you are being asked currently is already in the mail and the questioner will not doubt that. Even if he does he will say 'where' pointing to your mail and you point out with a index finger the region on the monitor 7 inch measured from below of screen and when he say ' i dont see it here'.
'Well sir,you have to read the whole thing to get to it'.
This can be never be doubted in the history of mail writing.
So if we accept the fact that writing mail is important,especially long ones, you ask yourself ,'well,if the mail has to be long, i have to write something. how the hell should i know what to write'.
Valid question. In fact, the answer lies within your self,look inside,meditate.
Whenver you got asked a question in school about something you don't know , what do you do .
you write whatever you know.
This principle will work for almost anything.
Let's assume the point which the receipient expects the mail to be about is a singularity, that is ,it can never be reached.like a black hole or x=0 for 1/x, you just keep tending to it.Start by going around the point slowly and slowly, if you add an imaginary number, then you might as well go in spirals, that is recommended. As you pick up pace ,remember you don't have to go to the singularity, now you start moving away.
Surprise,you were on a saddle.
Just like a ball on a saddle starts going towards the minima ,then just slides away on either of the sides, that is precisely what you need.This conversation being metaphorical to a large extent must be understood in applied sense, just visualise how would you do it and pictures will start making sense.
To add more concrete stuff, also deliberately add wrong facts in your mail which you know are not true and the receipeint thinks that you must be knowing this but you have to use this benefit of doubt.
As you scribble deliberate-wrong facts ,the receipent's attention will be diverted to those one and he will start correcting you,if by any means,he starts reading the mail. then the wrongness will amass so much that he will give up and a ask you to be present physically.which would ineffect ruin the purpose of the mail.
Then there is a silver lining, make sure you are not present there at the very moment.
Just after a couple of days,his anger would reduce, will think of you a naive human (he couldn't be more wrong,could he?) and will start sympathazing your state and will give you more time to do the same stuff.
Well that's great ,ain't it.
Long mails prevent the people to express instantaneous emotions while reading something wrong/offensive which results in getting extra time, sympathy and perhaps another benefit of doubt.
On googling long mails, you will people selling softwares with the catchline tired of reading long mails,now hear them.
Don't you do that. gibberish writing on hearing will sound exactly as you want it to, mostly abusive.