This is one of those classic things which come in your life once. We have a professor who teaches us modular forms and i have uploaded some mails he sends the class. I find them funny. Before you judge anyone, must know 1.this was a class of 8 people to start with.3 people dropped out in the middle of the course just because they could not handle the stuff. 2. so the class contains 5 people, most of the times nobody knows what is going on in the class and even if one does,one does not have a comprehensive picture of why we are doing what we are doing. 3. so this prof, i guess out of fear of more people dropping the course, has cut us some slack.maybe more than what is required. read on.

How little things make a difference

pushy (ˈpʊʃɪ) adj, pushier or pushiest 1. offensively assertive or forceful 2. aggressively or ruthlessly ambitious

On mind and body

Mind and body are awesome things which sometimes go against each other creating conflicts and disharmony. A person is the in-charge,so to say, of his body and his mind but controlling one demands other's cooperation. Like when i run, running after a while makes the body hurt and wanting to stop but it is mind which keeps it going ,saying,don't stop ,there's still lot of ground to cover. And then the body can delay but not refuse the mind's decision and tags along. this builds the body as it has to get used to running long distances simply because mind wants it. the body in some sense had no choice. People like to refer to this ability of controlling body by mind as willpower. this is what kept Tenzing going while he was scaling Everest, body was exhausted, atmosphere was chill, Edmund wanted to stop,the surroundings wanted them to stop but he kept going. This is what kept me running long distances. this is what kept me trying,trying to achieve what the mind wanted. This is how the success story of great people are written ,they just keep on doing it where other's stop. In fact, it was just the mind which made the difference,not the kilos they possessed. But then these are called the good points.mind can do terrible things too. It can force the body to cease existing. Mind can literally drive the body to inflict fatal measures on itself so as to quit living. These occur as suicides. Like when Hitler's mind asked him to kill himself while Russian armies moved into Berlin. when Taniyama, a mathematician killed himself due to depression,a state of mind,not body. when C.P Ramanujan killed himself in TIFR-CAM Bangalore. It could be theorized that a person is defined not by him body but only and only but what's inside his 7-mm thick stronger than steel cranium. How people behave and their life's story is pretty much decided by brain or mind ,as i like to call it. multi-millionaire people did not lift weights to become what they are, their mind were guiding them. But then body does exert control on mind too. Alcohol in body affects the working capacity of mind. Under the influence of alcohol, body becomes flaccid,control is lost and mind is no longer the control center and it feels bad. That's why too much of it and it forces the body to puke and get control. But with hard work and dedication,one can train mind. In more than one way. There are chain smokers who cannot survive without smoking for more than 4 hours and there are heavy drinkers too. It is not that the body had wanted all this stuff and enjoys it but it is the mind that chooses to have lot of it. Body suffers. mind can be trained to ride bicycles and do mathematics. Mind can also be trained to learn music and perform breathtaking feats which body would never allow sans the risking ability of mind. But it is a big pain when mind refuses to cooperate with body or vice-versa. But pain to whom,the body ,the mind or both or is there a third component who becomes the scapegoat.i believe that the third component is the person himself,the possessor of mind and the body. The person is neither the body nor the mind alone. It is he who knows the disharmony,who has,perhaps,no role to play except to be part of this debacle. I pity that person. The purpose of this article is not to do a behavioural study of mind and body but to point out that they are not always in harmony with each other. and when they are,life seems beautiful.

Keep calm and die.

Its karavaan night and band wars just got over. did not have as much fun as expected. thought it would be good if i went to band wars after a drink or two but it was not such a great idea i guess. drinking just gives a feeling of lost control but nobody can make you feel better if you dont want to or something like that. Maybe that;s what happened. not feeling good is a choice after some time. Its like i cannot get over it,and it has been a long time since. watched hangover 1 to feel better,drank cad b again. what not. maybe its just the way i want myself to be. deep,angry,depressed and hateful, sad. Ronnie also came today,he sucked totally. like all the time. sometimes i just feel like shouting at him.i talked to some people. i dont know what;s happening. i am worried about the future, i am going to almora in december for no reason. i say to myself that i am a traveller and my bussiness is travelling and its like what i should do but then that;s the priorties which are not so good for my mathematical future. i dont even know if i care or not. many times i am confused about what i want. many times i am not even sure why i am doing what i am doingg. or for that matter even why i am writing this. these past few months have been shitty reminds me of first year. there's no good aim to base one's life upon like earlier i thought that life and its decisions would be drived by the motive of being famous,rich or something like that but now those things dont even seem to matter. i dont know if that's due to the fact that i have renounced materialistic stuff or whether i gave up just because it was difficult to achieve. People around me and their decisions cannot guide me coz they are all very diverse. i have just given up on meself. and i thought teenage was the most difficult period of my life. maybe it still is.i spend most of my day on bed. what has happened to me. i hope my mind gets fixed someday.

Galois

Two or three days back, we had a test in Galois theory in class. I finished the exam early and was getting bored so i did something. I did get something back too.

India and its authors.

Some indian authors have got the real thing that makes them into wonderful story tellers. the ecstasy one gets after reading their novels is like getting to view life from a new perspective.  they are the kind who know what the heart of india is made of and they present it with so much simplicity,so utterly simple english, so simple terms that jostles a new life in each place they set their story in. one such story i completed about an hour ago is 'the hungry tide' by amitav ghosh. the characters were so amazing. out of all them,fokir,in particular,whose character would be the most simple and complex at the same time. ghosh has a history with calcutta and its neighbours. and real indian authors,the kind i am talking about, know that any novel in an indian setting could not get away without a beautiful history which must come from colonial times or maybe before. this is not a picked opinion but formed by reading certain great novels ,sea of poppies, alchemy of desire,a suitable boy, calcutta chromosome, god of small things,house of mr biswas and many more. these just could not go without a bit of some britain in it somehow. i do not know what good or bad did brits do by coming here,but sure they gave us a lot of stories to tell about. i beleive that;s what makes us different,authors,poets,thinkers different from some other people that we just live to tell a good story and then we have accomplished the purpose of life. one good story.that's all one needs for a lifetime.that's what i want my life to be. one such poet was shiv kumar batalvi,who succummed to alcohol badly and died at an early age of near 30's.but he produced beautiful poetry the time he lived for. i belive mathematics are no different,they are also poets and novelists. after having some mathematical maturity one could just read a mathematics monograph just like a novel, someone telling a story and appreciate its beauty.this has not happened yet to me.hopefully later if i stick to it.

Of gods and totally ordered sets

some people choose to believe in god and some don't. i have met several people who can even decide the degree to which they believe in god. 'thoda sa' as they would say. does god's belief come in installments.i dunno.to my experience, i have encountered people who are orthodoxian in the existence of their gods like my parents and i have met scientists who are partial believers of their god. i have also met people who know (or they think so) that god doesn't exist but choose to believe he does. i chose 'he' because it would be difficult to think of female god. how could a female, a mother, a daughter, a girlfriend create such a stupid world. only men are good at this. or maybe god is a transvestite or maybe he doesn't have a sex or maybe he's not a person or maybe he is the sky above us who sees everything and makes people comfortable by its benevolent presence or maybe he is driver of the bus i sit in everyday to go to lecture hall or maybe he is the rice i ate today or maybe the keyboard on which i am typing or maybe i am one. how would one ever know.

the portrayal of god in religion have been depicted to the point of utter amusement and is comical at its root, if god does exist, which i am really skeptic of, then why should he have 4 arms and look like a malformed -genetically modified human.i am talking of Hindu gods. well there are lot of them. if god is taken to the most superior being among all souls, how can there be more than one. if there are two god, who live in a totally ordered set,then their powers are comparable(this is the order) and one of them must be superior. assuming set of all gods is totally ordered under the their respective powers, then there must exist a bigger god to every god, and then if one is required to believe in gods then why not choose the most powerful one. this Hindu philosophy has trouble comprehending,so they said 'well gods powers can be compared, so if they form a set,your logic would work, they said that the collection of all gods is not a set,its a class'. and i was hysterical. other religion have tried to avoid this issue,by not directly working with god,but with messengers of them. Jesus turns out to be son of god but not god himself,so why is he given so much respect and stature. because he was sent by god or at least he said so. now would you believe that. 'hey James,wassup?my name is Jesus,well my father "god" sent me to ask to follow him,pray his name before you eat and lot of other stuff which he has typeset in a book you will get, will you do that.
now James was confused.he said,
'life is normal, i hunt, i get food, i eat.no big deal'
'if i spent time on this stuff, i will not be able to focus on my family's well-being,so thanks but no thanks'.
several other religions have adopted this concept of not allowing  human beings to directly see god but their messenger ,this goes with Islam and maybe some more.
some who were blessed by god's messengers become demi-god themselves and the power flows through them and its ok for people to respect and believe these demi-gods whom they can  see and talk with,in order, to be in communium with god himself. these demi-gods are priests.
so you might ask, what is all the fuss about.
believe in god if you want to,otherwise not. it works for most of us.
until god is attached with religion which was a concept invented by someone to help people put blame and hopes on someone else and not their own incompetency or maybe  just plain bad luck. god was for everything. the random component of the environment which decided which days which it will start raining, which days it would be a washout, how long a person will live, how far the road will go. all the worldly decisions which could ever be made were already taken, and we are just merely enacting them out.
until also the religion with the set of rules it comes with, decides to act physically. don’t let earth get crowded with people who don’t believe in this. there's no point in them living. either they should start believing which might or might not be enough, otherwise they gotta die. now this fact that taking someone's life is decided just by a set of rules someone came up with long time ago makes it really difficult to decide the worth of life. only those who are powerful survive. so whatever they do, the world must do. this way the world was given Christianity from a small flock of people who inhabited tons of islands just for fun. that's how Christianity came to Africa, India, south east Asia, America,and Caribbean. they said their god was better than the older gods of people or maybe if they had none,they put the fear in people first and gave them the antidote as god. to support the notion that their god was powerful ,they came with heavy artillery and big horses. now who would disagree to the fact that men of British god are so powerful, then god must be harbinger of all pains and desire which could wipe out everyone,if angered. this is how most religions spread. one particular instance is beautifully denoted in the novel of chinua Achebe 'things fall apart'.
initially in the hunter gatherer times when men were living comfortably i presume, they had nothing to do,they would get bored easily, they invented something which would keep all of them including their descendents busy for lifetimes and that would not be enough. they came up with the idea to give an 'axiom schema' , a way to invent thing,lot of things. the algorithm was,'choose a particular set of rules,anything random would work, which everyone should follow and the rules should not be such that everyone can follow them and not so hard that no one can follow them,this would give rise to disparity among people,their degree of proficiency in abiding by the rules would give them position in society.
a game in which the rules included believing in a superior being who controlled everyone, not eating deer on Sundays, eating humans on Tuesdays, not having sex on Thursday between morning to evening',etc..' is called a religion of some type.
deeding on different rules, we get different religion.
given some rules,we also get mathematics.
given somewhat lesser rules,we get physics.
this is how the 'siesta' was invented.
i do wonder if everything in world is just a game. we humans start enacting it the moment we are born and play it till you are forced to withdraw, then people stop talking to you and you are experienced enough to dismiss them and not take care of them.
atheism turns out to be the spreading in one form or the other. now the rules of the game are changing.it is also somewhat trendy to be an atheist. people look up to you,they look at you and wonder 'what will happen to him when he is judged by god',their god, because in their eyes,their god was the supreme power. and seeing your carelessness,they presume that god himself,their god,must have made you that way. that means ,you are not out of the clutches of the god, you still are judged by him.